Stupider Than a Magikarp, Uglier Than a Tentacool
by everyoneisMISunderstood
Summary: They didn't think when they were reunited they'd get into an all-out insult war... but then, what else can you expect from Drew and May? Contestshipping. Oneshot.


**(A/N) Never written for Pokemon before… We'll see how this goes! I don't know Drew and May's age difference, but let's just say Drew is 16 while May is 15. **

She recognized the face that popped up on the screen with a little white line leading to hers. May was too nervous to really pay attention to the rest of the appeals before hers, so she didn't notice him there. _How could I have not seen him?_

May certainly knew why her heart sped up a bit when she realized she'd be beating Drew, and it wasn't out of anxiety of battling him. She already knew it was only a matter of time before she finally encountered him again, but she didn't think it'd be as the Isshu Grand Festival.

When he saw who his opponent would be, he couldn't help but smile a bit. He barely even recognized her, though he would never forget those eyes. They way they sparkled a bit more than usual when he pulled a rose out from behind him and offered it to her, a ritual he performed for May and only May. No other girl was deserving of it.

The two teens grimly made their way to their spots where they'd stand while their Pokemon battled for their masters. He wasn't going easy on her, any feelings he had for her would be pushed aside until after the match.

* * *

The battle was over, and there was no victor. Every person in the stands was shocked, as such an event had never happened before. Typically, this would mean the battle would go into overtime, but there was some kind of delay with the judges.

Lilian frowned as Nurse Joy ran up to her and whispered in her ear. "Oh?" Lilian asked, surprised. "Well, it seems as if the judges want to pit these two trainers against each other again tomorrow to give their Pokemon plenty of time to recover!"

Murmurs of shock rose up throughout the crowd before one brave person decided to scream in enthusiasm. Both trainers glared at each other before turning to the crowd and bowing. Immediately, everyone in the stands was cheering for them both. Both of them left the massive stadium.

She was half-hoping she might run into Drew. She hadn't seen him in such a long time, and she kind of missed him. Okay, she _really_ missed him. But what if he didn't miss her or didn't remember her and just thought she was one of his scarily obsessed fangirls?

May smiled warmly at him and declared, "That was a pointless battle."

"Yeah, I'll say," Drew snapped at her, barely even looking at her.

All of her former nervousness was batted away, to be replaced by disappointment. May blinked in surprise. Sure, she was a little annoyed at the outcome of their match too, but she didn't think he needed to be acting so petty, especially since she was only trying to be nice. "Excuse me?" May asked, placing a hand on her hip indignantly. _He didn't have to say it like that…_

He didn't say anything, just kept walking. There were so many responses he could have chosen from, so he settled with something inside his comfort zone. Gentle mocking. He turned around and told May, "You got lucky. We both know that your Glaceon wouldn't have lasted another second out there."

May failed to hear the familiar lilting tone that rung out through Drew's words and she gaped at him. (Then again, May had never realized he was just teasing, even when they were kids, to hide the fierce affection he felt for the brunette.) He always had nerve, but now of all times, he chose to bring back the childish insults she thought they'd gotten past years ago. Still, she couldn't stop herself from retorting, "Hey! I bet you if you asked anyone else they'd say your Roserade was done for!"

Smirking as though what she said was amusing, he calmly stated, "Whatever you say."

"What is that supposed to mean?" May demanded angrily.

Drew flicked his hair and ignored the question, instead deciding to reply with, "You're still the same ditz you were back when we were kids."

Seething, she spluttered, "Well, you're still just as arrogant and rude and mean and just… augh!" May finished tossing her hands in the air. She turned around to storm off when Drew chuckled. "What's so funny?"

He didn't say anything, just shook his head. "Fine then!" She shouted, about to leave.

_We haven't seen each other in so long, and that's how he decides to treat me? Typical Drew, I guess._ May thought to herself. She sneaked a glance behind her and noticed him still watching her as she stomped away.

Drew observed his annoyed friend, finding that she was so much prettier. Her warm brown hair had grown out and instead of being parted over both sides, hung loosely past her shoulders. Her curves had grown in, giving her a more womanly and mature figure. May's pair of happy dark blue eyes was the only recognizable feature she carried over from their childhood.

"You're even more obnoxious than Team Rocket's Meowth!" She shouted behind her, unable to stop feeling so let down and angry.

When she imagined the two meeting up again, he never acted so immaturely. Sure, her mom told her guys never grew out of it, but she didn't think he'd be the same old Drew. But somehow, she didn't really want him to change, or he just wouldn't be the same person she'd come to respect and care about as a person.

He turned around and lifted his eyebrows, knowing that with all the trouble Team Rocket caused for May and her friends, that was probably supposed to be a serious insult. Drew wasn't even mad or annoyed at May, just teasing like they always did. That's what their friendship revolved around, an intense rivalry, and he was surprised she'd forgotten. "Yeah? At least I'm not as stupid as a Magikarp."

Of course, he didn't mean it. He didn't think she was stupid, and if she'd been paying attention at all, she'd know he thought she was very smart. And pretty. And charming.

But naturally, May didn't realize that he was joking. Her eyes watered slightly; after all, he didn't have to be such a jerk. "I happen to really like Magikarp, thank you very much!"

"Good, then you won't mind being compared to one." He told her, flicking his hair once again. He fought to keep a smile off his face as she turned red slightly. Cute.

But May's anger wasn't something meant to be viewed as cute, oh no, Drew should have been terrified. "Well, I'm not as ugly as a Tentacool!"

That was low. Everyone knew about May's serious hatred and fear of that particular Pokemon, and to be put on the same level as one of those things… Well, it was lowering to the pride. "Last time I checked, I had more fans than you, so I don't think you're in any place to be insulting me."

"You're just saying that because you couldn't think of a decent come-back." She said, crossing her arms over her chest and breathing out slowly to help control her temper.

Drew smiled wryly. "May, honestly. 'Uglier than a Tentacool' doesn't even deserve a come-back. But if you insist…" He paused, before continuing, "Your personality is pricklier than a Cacturne."

_Oh, did he _really_ have to use Harley's Pokemon?_ May thought to herself, grimacing. "Is pricklier even a word?"

He laughed before imitating, "'You're just saying that becau—'"

She cut him off before firing at him, "Your hair is greener than a Bulbasaur!"

"Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?" He asked her, just to rub her the wrong way.

And it did. "An insult, you idiot! Why would I be complimenting you when I'm annoyed?"

"Maybe because you're stupider than a Magikarp," He said, reverting back to his first taunt. "Besides, don't you have a Bulbasaur?"

She turned her head up and was about to swear at him, when she saw the glitter in his eyes that was sort of familiar. She fought a smile off her face as she realized he didn't actually mean those things.

However, May was never one to lose an argument, and Drew _did_ squeeze in the last insult. "You are so—so—I don't even know the word I'm looking for!" She yelled at him, though with much less fire and anger than before.

The two teens stared each other down, sparkling emeralds meeting with glowing sapphires. Finally, Drew offered, "Amazing?"

And suddenly, her vexation was back as she remembered this was one of the things she liked least about Drew: his ego. May groaned. "No! That was definitely not it!"

"How about incredible?" He asked, his trademark simper dancing across his full lips.

May tore her gaze away from his mouth and met his stare head on. "Nope, you're just so irritating there isn't even a proper word for someone like you."

Drew grinned at her, moving a bit closer. A delicate flush spread over May's body, but other than that, she refused to show any sort of feeling on her face other than her current irritation. When he breathed, "You sure about that?" she resisted the urge to swoon.

She hadn't remembered him being so… intoxicating. She closed her eyes a bit and told him shakily, "I'm sure."

May had always been determined to never fall under Drew's spell. She wasn't going to be one of those girls that turned to mush when he smiled, or who couldn't help but die inside every time he spoke a word in her direction.

When they were kids, she might have had a little crush on him. But it was nothing compared to the grudging infatuation she felt for him now. She frowned, knowing that this wasn't at all in her "meeting up with Drew again" daydreams.

"In that case…" He smiled, mockingly apologetic as he pulled out a rose and proffered it to her. "Forgive me?"

She blushed and hesitantly lifted her hand to take the beautiful flower. Each petal was perfectly placed and undamaged. It was the most vibrant scarlet hue, and her memory didn't do the roses justice. "I suppose," Grinning coyly, she lifted the flower up to her nose and breathed in its heady scent before announcing, "Though I don't know why you're giving such a lovely flower to Beautifly even though she wasn't the one you offended."

The reference to the first time he gave her a rose made them both smile. "I guess I should thank _Roserade_ for this blossom, huh?" She asked rhetorically before leaning up and kissing Drew on the cheek.

"Bye, May." He said, shaking his head slightly.

As he touched his cheek he wondered, _How did we get from an insult war to this?_ And at that moment, he recalled exactly why he enjoyed making fun of her so much.

**(A/N) I originally planned this to be way different, and I'm still not sure if I like the way this ended… oh well :/**

**Also, I had no intention by offending anyone if any of the mentioned Pokemon used in insults are your favorites. Personally, I think Magikarp is epic.  
**


End file.
